Cause You're My Bestfriend.

TIP ON HOW TO GET OVER YOUR FEAR OF THE DARK:

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 15:57:11 -0400

boazpriestly:

blueberrytoast:

boazpriestly:

presidentjesus:

As soon as you turn the lights off start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”.

And then the shadows growl at you and say, “Mine. You’re all mine.”

Proceed to have a secret relationship with the monster in your closet to make the shadows jealous.

Plot Twist: The Monster wants a threesome with you and the shadows.

Photo

Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:18:18 -0400

Think twice about becoming vegan In today’s trendy artsy world,...

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 14:01:10 -0400

Think twice about becoming vegan

In today’s trendy artsy world, more and more young people are becoming vegan every single day. The reason most of these people become vegan is for the protection and welfare of animals. They encourage vegan meals, no meat, cheese, dairy, eggs etc. What most vegans do not realise is that there is a dirty underworld to the growing and manufacturing of this disgusting world trade that is kept well hidden from society.

Above is a picture taken in Indonesia of a carrot being prepared and slaughtered. The carrots are first skinned, then drowned, and can be eaten raw or are cooked in boiling water.

Also above is a disturbing picture of potatoes being ripped from their home. The preparation is the same as the carrots.

Bananas grow together in a herd. When they ripen, they are stolen from their family, and whilst they are still alive their skin is peeled back and their entire body is usually in eaten in about 6 bites.

nataliedarkmist: s8xyvriska: spider-ler: squelchy: singleladi...

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 13:24:24 -0400

nataliedarkmist:

s8xyvriska:

spider-ler:

squelchy:

singleladies.wmv

(( THE MOD CAN’T STOP LAUGHING RIGHT NOW ))

Oh my gosh.

((Some one buy me 500 of these spiders))

tastefullyoffensive: [@theuniverse/via]

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 15:54:25 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

[@theuniverse/via]

umbrellamonster: Warning: this blog will give you a...

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 15:18:48 -0400

umbrellamonster:

Warning: this blog will give you a laugh-attack.

(via imgTumble)

kushandlyrikz: asdfghjamiekl: jacquigourlay: oh dear god. ...

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:54:13 -0400

kushandlyrikz:

asdfghjamiekl:

jacquigourlay:

oh dear god.

Are you a retard

castleoflions: This was a card at Target. I laughed for fucking...

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 11:26:23 -0400

castleoflions:

This was a card at Target.

I laughed for fucking ever.

Photo

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 22:28:21 -0400

Photo

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 20:34:56 -0400

thatfunnyblog: Wanna make your dashboard alive?

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:02:03 -0400

thatfunnyblog:

Wanna make your dashboard alive?

wethinktherefore: littlegirl-lost: theodorepython: the-elven-q...

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:01:43 -0400

wethinktherefore:

littlegirl-lost:

theodorepython:

the-elven-queen:

thebestkickassasian:

just-a-skinny-boy:

Australian advertising is freaking brilliant.

The bowing down was the best by far.

can this exist in America?

Clever marketing is the best thing.

this is cool. i would have fun.

The bowing thing made me laugh hysterically

bei-fong-appreciation-blog: prestonhymas: Why do we not discuss clouds more? I mean look at that....

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:01:38 -0400

bei-fong-appreciation-blog:

prestonhymas:

Why do we not discuss clouds more?

I mean look at that. That’s water.

Flying water.

FLYING

FUCKING

WATER

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DO WE EVER STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS

WHAT IS THIS

HOW IS THIS EVEN

AND NOW THE FLYING WATER IS EATING A MOUNTAIN

GOD DAMN, WHAT

nona-yo-businesss: The last one omg

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:01:08 -0400

nona-yo-businesss:

The last one omg

Photo

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 16:09:55 -0400

Photo

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 16:09:48 -0400

Photo

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 13:46:19 -0400

thequietworld: manques: Nicole Kidman leaving her lawyer’s...

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 19:38:32 -0400

thequietworld:

manques:

Nicole Kidman leaving her lawyer’s office after finalising her divorce with Tom Cruise.

bowing @ this beautiful day in august 2001

please let’s not forget this gem

milkbottles: self explanatory… aw yh i know i am...

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 16:21:07 -0400

milkbottles:

self explanatory…

aw yh i know i am ://///////////////////

luckyshirt: Dear guy who just made my burrito: Have you ever...

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 17:19:33 -0400

luckyshirt:

Dear guy who just made my burrito:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM TO ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing life a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.